Let go and let God

This is what I am trying to live by. I have learned that I can do nothing in my own strength. I have tried. I have failed. When I put it in His hands things tend to go smother and thing go the way He wants them to play out. One of the most amazing examples is when I was going through my custody trial. I am overwhelmed at being a solo new parent to begin with and was struggling with finding where I belonged and what to do with my life. My amazing mother helped me in so many ways! I was so upset and thinking there is no way my ex would stay away from us and was sure he was going to try to take Gabby from me and could not figure out how it is was going to work. Then I told my mom “how would it be possible that Jason would stay away?” she looked at me and said, “Danielle, with God anything is possible.” That hit me like a ton of bricks. Jason did see Gabby a couple of time then when he had to start paying child support, I stopped hearing from him and he stopped seeing her. My mom had to make sure I knew she was right! But it was true! With God anything is possible!! He has brought me through so much and if he didn’t have a special plan for my life I would not be here. I almost died a couple of times 5 years ago. Medically speaking, I should not be here. But God saw purpose. I’m not saying it is easy, it’s not. I am still scared Jason will come back around or try to get involved in Gabby’s life. But I know that if I put it in His hands, it will work out so much better than if I take it all on myself. Sometimes things happen and I beat myself up over them. I try to control things that will NEVER be in my control. I try to take on things that I know I cannot handle. Thankfully I serve a mighty God.

I would be cheerful yellow. Who isn’t happy when they see the bright yellow sun on a nice day and not want to put a smile on their face? I am a people pleaser. When people are mad at me it bothers me! I like to make others happy. Sometimes when I am down and depressed I have to force a smile to others but hopefully I make them happy which in turn makes me happy. When you see me and my daughter coming from far away, it is hard not to smile (or laugh) when I am chasing her and telling her to slow down and wait for me. She is my complete sunshine and I want share the happiness God has given me with others. I have noticed on cloudy days or weeks, that people seem down and depressed but on those sunny days, everyone is a little happier and nicer. I want add to that happy even on a cloudy day. I hope I do but I know there are days when even with the best intentions I can’t make others smile for the life of me. It happens. God didn’t make anyone perfect, we all fail at one time or another. The best thing that I can strive for is to try to be a light in this dark world. I know walking into a dark colored room that is gloomy and depressing had a different reaction than a bright colored room full of light and cheerfulness. I know that I would much rather have my room a yellow than dark red or brown. In the past the farthest thing from my mind was making others happy. I loved the darkest or rooms and didn’t want to be in the sunlight for the life of me. But thankfully God has changed me and showed me that I need to share my joyfulness and happiness with others. Even on the days that I don’t feel it.